Showing posts with label Lego. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lego. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Wired Magazine Rocks!


Holy freaking crap! It worked! Received beaucoup hits yesterday. Wired Magazine rocks! Buzzwords rock! Lego! Linux! Apple! Holy freaking crap! Geek power!

Now we got that out of the way, I can get to the more pedestrian things, like dinner last night.
In the continued effort to conserve gasoline, I try not to run to the grocery all the time, even though it's only 2.5 miles away--that's still 65 cents and one-half hour, and usually some aggro due to experiencing Check-Out-Line-Rage in the so-called quick check out. Is there ever a queue that causes more pain and aggravation?

Did I ever tell you about the woman with the expired $2 coupon for a ham who swore she had the manufacturer's dispensation to go ahead and use the coupon? That sort of thing. People buying ciggies at the last minute and the clerk has to leave the checkout and go and unlock the stupid ass case where the supermarket stashes cigarettes. I mean, it might as well be oxycontin they way they keep them locked up.

O.K. dinner. We had frozen chicken breasts with skin and bones, the real McCoy. I sprinkled same with Penzey's Ozark seasoning, and sauteed in a bit of butter and oil. Meanwhile, I used some oil and olive oil to saute onion, garlic and tomatoes. Tossed in the last of the dried bell pepper flakes and salt and pepper. After that came the Basmati rice, chicken broth, and some yummy gelatinous meat glop from the bottom of the roast chicken container from the store. Added the browned breasts, popped on a lid and cooked until the rice was done. Yowsa! Side dishes were broccoli and a salad made of romaine, white asaparagus, green onion and fresh chopped herbs with some of Annie's Organic Buttermilk dressing. Canned white asparagus makes a decidedly good salad.

The tomatoes (and the rest of the garden) got rain last night, a nice big rain. Ah, nature.

The MAN (Burning Man) Burns in not that many days, and again, I won't be there. Quite frankly, I'm absolutely crushed that Festival Madness has received such a lukewarm reception among the agents (lots of California literary agents) I've queried. Again, no one likes the freaking story, but "the writing has promise." Yeah yeah. For those who don't regularly read this blog, the entire middle of Festival Madness is set at Burning Man. By the way, the photo is the Temple Burning at the Man. 2004, most likely.

Words cannot convey how disheartening it is to have written yet a 5th book, five, count 'em, that gets this lukewarm reception and yada yada, the state of the market, that's right blame everything on the publishers and the readers.

What is totally aggravating, and some days everything is aggravating, (this must be one of them) is that there are countless readers who would gobble this up, the readers of The Shadow Warriors who are waiting for the next book. But since Warriors bears the awful, hideous taint of the self-published and eeeek, POD, since I took it back from the now-disappeared e-publisher and put it in print rather than have an unread e-book sitting there, well, it's kind of like a Muslim girl who ain't a virgin, if you get the drift. Damaged goods. Ah yes.

Hey! I'm sure I'll feel better if I go upstairs and scarf down some breakfast. Raisin Bran. Do you want to know my raisin bran secret? It tastes especially fine with a dollop of heavy cream. Well, there goes the healthy benefits of bran and fiber. Suck It Up.

Eat well, and stay away from novel-writing. These unpublished novels are doing a number on my mental health and sucking it up year after year is no way to live. You shouldn't do that. I'll bear the pain for both of us.

Grapeshot

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The How To Issue: I am wired! Yowza! Sweet Fancy Moses!

How's about them tomatoes?


Wired Magazine is trying to help me increase my page views, set up my room for vlogging (no way), look good on TV (problematical), Turn anything into a screen play, (ha ha), dress like a hipster (a not-very-slim hipster) ya know, if just won't work, crash a party, (what party? People still have parties?) make friends with celebrities (you've got to be kidding), feign sincerity (piece o cake), and yowza, the best for last, Get Internet Famous! Ha ha ha ha. I don't live in New York or LA, see above hipster, party crashing, celebrity stuff. The "nobody" who's Internet Famous is Julia Allison who looks like a sexy young lady.

Freaking crap! None of these paths to fame and fortune will work for a middle-aged woman who could maybe lose a bit of weight and tart herself up some.

Use emotionally charged words. Suck it up! Linux, Lego, Nascar, Tarantino, DRM, Apple. Holy freaking crap, do they mean lego blocks? Leggo my Eggo? Surely not.

Hyperbole is my friend? Don't think so.

17 ways to draw traffic? Sex, orgies, celebrity secrets. That's it. I could make up celebrity secrets! Sex, orgies, lawsuits, sound like an infomercial? WTF?

It's not me. Not even close. O.K. Here's a list:
Stuff I have done so far today:
1) work out - aerobics and weights
2) eat Raisin bran for breakfast
3) read e-mail
4) shower and get dressed
5) let Thisbe onto the porch and back in several times
6) drive to town: go to post office, resale shop, town hall, resale shop
7) read Wired to find out how to increae page views
8) Blog
9) Survey the sad state of my submissions to agents for 3 books. Move 5 "not heard froms" to "never will hear froms." Email one agent.
10) Sneak upstairs to watch The Food Channel and read the August (?) Gourmet
11) Plan this weekend's menu
12) Start Grocery list
13) Read some exchange work of other writers
14) Read Boston Globe, Wall St. Journal and New York Times
15) Googled some Chicago restaurants


Jeez, I'm a productive little dweeb. The list lacks a certain je ne sais quoi, a certain fascination--no naughtiness, no celebrities, no shit.

Hey, I tried.

Grapeshot