Tuesday, October 02, 2012

The Pope, the Cat and the Butler

The current pope has always been a cat lover, but when he ascended to his high position, i.e. pope, he was unable to take his cat to the Vatican.  I find this most mysterious.
I mean, he's the pope, isn't he?  Can't he bring whatever he wants?  Well, maybe not a girlfriend, but a cat?

 My thinking is, that had the pope had been allowed to bring his cat, the butler wouldn't have had time to get himself into trouble.  For example, he would have been kept busy buying cat food, dispensing cat food, cleaning the dishes.  Figuring out what the cat wants to eat everyday can take hours.
He would also have been required to purchase litter, change litter, and dispose of litter.  Give the litter box a good scrubbing every now and then.  In addition,  he would  brush and comb the cat and remove any lumps from the fur.   This can take time, especially if the cat does not cooperate.  And further, he would have had to schedule vet appointments for shots and checkups and any health issues.  For some reasons, cats have a sixth sense about vet appointments and have to be dragged out from under the bed and crammed into the carrier.  Did I mention kicking and screaming?

By now, the cat would have become very attached to the butler and would insist on sitting on his lap whenever possible.  The butler would console the cat with treats when His Holiness traveled abroad. 

Further duties would be to remove cat hair from all surfaces, especially black cassocks, dark upholstery, and practically everything.  No, make that everything.  Cleaning up the mess from barfed up hairballs and tummy upsets also takes time.  In the event the cat needs medications, well, that's a whole 'nother ball game, but let's just say  time consuming. 

Now by even the densest reader (that would not be you) can figure out that cat care can be a full time job.  Does the cat have a nice window seat to view birds and small mammals?  No, well, build one.  Are there birds and small mammals to watch?  No?  Find some.

The butler would still have to perform his other duties.  He's running around puffing and panting and yes, multi-tasking.

This is one busy-ass butler and he has zero time to be filching the pope's papers or diaries, or letters home to his lonesome feline who has undoubtedly forgotten all about him.  The scandal would have easily been averted.  And the pope would have his beloved cat.  And his butler. 

My cat Thisbe who has a white cross on her chest.  Sacred kitty?
I am wondering if there lurks within the Vatican some old medieval fear of cats as being pawns of the devil.  Think about it.

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