The Disapearance

I can' t find plain, ordinary bean dip in the stores anymore, the kind that used to be with the chips. Now everything is Salsa, and we bought some bean salsa and it was way too spicy (for beans). Apparently you have to make you own now. What the hell is this?

There's convenience everything and they took bean dip off the market? I can't believe it. I'll try a new store, but I went online and couldn't find it either.

I mean, we can open a can of refried beans and dip the chips in that, but it's not the same. I'm in a total funk about this. We only ate it like once a year, but I expected it to be on the shelf.

I heard they took Hydrox cookies out of production. People up in arms. I loved them back in the day when I was always trying to gain weight and ate cookies and milk every night. Or graham crackers and milk. Or PBJ. Hard to believe I ever tried to gain weight, but I did for years. Now I can't even keep peanut butter in the house. One of my few "no control" foods. I'm in there with the knife taking huge swipes and licking off the knife. Bad.

I don't have much control with chicken wings either, but we never have excessive wings lying around to scarf down at 11:30 p.m. Wish we did. So things change and one day you're really skinny and the next day you look, well, a little chunky.

So why am I obsessed with food? With bean dip? Seems kind of stupid. That's what happens when you eat a light dinner, you think about food the rest of the evening.

I needed to get some writing done but instead I watched The Big Lebowski and even some TV after that. We watched Volver last night. S.O. said it was a woman's movie, and that might be true. Pedro Almodaro makes great women's movies. Hard to figure, him being a guy and all that.

Off to bed. No bean dip. Still sucking it up. This has been a huge period of sucking it up. One would think I would get used to it. No sir.

Grapeshot.