If The Shoes Fits . . .

My life with shoes has been big time trauma. In first grade, I was the only kid in the class wearing high topped shoes. I had skinny bird legs and narrow feet with narrower heels. In fifth grade, I ran away from my mother in Downtown Denver (when the department stores were still there) after a vicious argument about my wearing loafers. In a rage, she finally relented, muttering than my socks would all wear out at the heel (did I care?) and that’s what happened. In high school, when I got my first pair of heels to wear to a prom, my father commented that I walked “like a string haltered camel.”

As a young teen, I worked as a waitress all summer on a concrete floor. Was I going to wear those dorky white waitress shoes? No way. Did my arches fall? You got it. When I got up in the morning, I couldn’t stand on my feet but hobbled on the outer sides of my feet for a few minutes. Was that dumb? Can you tell a fourteen year old girl anything?

I bought shoes with my own money in downtown Denver at Baker’s. They were black velvet flip flops with little aqua flowers over the toe. So cool. Took a while to learn to walk, but what the hell?

High heels: I remember almost crying when I had to walk any distance and my feet hurt so badly the fallen arches days felt comfy in comparison. Then dressy styles became ‘sensible,’ and one could actually stride along in comfort. A few years ago when mules came in, I had to re-join, like in first grade, the hideously unfashionable. I can’t wear mules or any heel without a back. My feet walk right out of them. Discovered I can’t wear very high heels anymore either. I stagger around like a drunk in them. The idea of walking down stairs or (horrors) climbing onto a subway is too scary.
For a formal event in NYC I have to find shoes, shoes that do not a) cost a fortune b) I will not fall down in c) are somewhat comfortable and d) have at least a modicum of style. This smacks of a lose-lose situation, and I feel a tension headache building. Last weekend we tried to find the Dedham Mall and the DSW shoe warehouse and drove up and down Route 1 finding neither. Apparently, I have forgotten where the Mall is. Or they tore it down and rebuilt it somewhere else. Hmmm. The other store is in Stoughton and the Mapquest directions were so goofy that I knew I would be lost before halfway there.
Last time I was in Bloomies shoe dept. watching skinny young women trying on $500.00 shoes I felt like Mary Seagull. She was a lady of a certain age and build, a painted wood cut-out actually, who appeared in a Nantucket art gallery every year for ages. Then she was gone. I sure as hell hope I am not her reincarnation. Mary Seagull always wore very sensible shoes.

Here’s to your corns and calluses. The Body Shop has a wonderful peppermint foot lotion. Tell them Grapeshot sent you.

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