A Little White Lie Unravels

As noted earlier, I emailed a couple of agents whom I hadn't heard from after months and months asking if they had received my query. Both responded, and one said no, probably not, and the other said, maybe, we will look.

I am busy and sort of distractable, and my email to one of the agents mentioned the wrong book, the book that has already been published. The query was for the World of Mirrors. There was never any query to this agent for Shadow Warriors. . Guess what? She responded in the usual way, nicely, and even mentioned the Shadow Warriors title twice, so I at least knew there was a human at the other end, but the fact is, I sent no query for this book, so how can they turn it down? Very easily, thank you very much.

This is the sort of response that gives the so-called "beginning writer" night sweats, because it reinforces the idea that unless you have an 'in,' no one is really reading these queries. They either do or do not sit on a desk for days or weeks or months or come back in the return mail, but no one is seriously looking. They send the form letter back, and wish you the best.

The demon me, if I only had time, would send out queries for already published books, and synopses of Faulkner, Hemingway and Shakespeare and see what the hell came back. Probably the standard form letter. Wonder if anyone has actually done this. It begs to be tried.

But it won't help me get published, so in my single-minded push, I better look for agents who might read a letter. How to get noticed, without being a jerk. Does anyone out there know? Is there anyone out there? Sometimes I think of saying outrageous inappropriate things, because no one does seem to be out there. Shouting into the void, as it were. The mouse that roared. Now there's a plot. Hmmmm.

Sorrowfully,

Grapeshot